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Soul Harvest, Chapter 11
Rayford was learning joy in the midst of sorrow. His heart told him Amanda was alive. His mind told him she was dead. As for her betrayal of him, of the Tribulation Force, and ultimately of God himself, neither Rayford’s head nor heart accepted that.
Yet with his conflicting emotions and turmoil of spirit, Rayford was as grateful for Mac’s conversion as he had been for his own, for Chloe’s, and for Bucks’. And the timing of God’s choosing to put His mark on His own! Rayford would be eager to get Tsion Ben input on that.
It was late Wednesday evening in New Babylon. Rayford and Mac had been working side-by-side all day. Rayford had told him the whole story of the Tribulation Force and each of their accounts of their own conversions. Mac seemed especially intrigued that God had provided them a pastor/teacher/mentor from the beginning in Bruce Barnes. And then, following Bruce’s death, God sent a new spiritual leader with even more biblical expertise.
“God has proven personal to us, Mac,” Rayford said. “He doesn’t always answer our prayers the way we think he will, but we’ve learned he knows best. And we have to be careful not to think that everything we feel deeply is necessarily true.
“I don’t follow,” Mac said.
“For instance, I can’t shake the feeling that Amanda is still alive. But I can’t swear that is from God.” Rayford hesitated, suddenly overcome. “I want to be sure that if it turns out I’m wrong, I don’t hold it against God.”
Soul Harvest, Chapter 11