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What Not To Do And What To Do When Someone Is Grieving
I’M HEARING SO MANY SAD TALES OF WOE FROM EVERY SECTOR OF SOCIETY. STRANGE THAT I CHOOSE THIS LINE OF THOUGHT PRESENTLY, IN 100+ DEGREE CA HEAT, IT IS DIFFICULT TO MUSTER COMPASSION FOR THE FOLLOWING LADY’S DILEMMA AND CAN ONLY FEIGN COMPASSION. BUT IN JANUARY, IF YOU WERE IN AK, MI, MN, WY, EVEN TAHOE, AND SUCH WINTRY LANDSCAPE, YOU’D IDENTIFY WITH HER CONCERN FOR THE CHILDREN. THUS, SEE THE ANSWER TO HER INQUIRY TOTALLY EVADES HER SERIOUS PROBLEM... ds
Tim Gustafson writes; In desperation, a woman called the housing assistance center where I worked. A heating problem had turned her rental home into a freezer with furniture. Panicked, she asked me how she would care for her children. I hurriedly replied with the scripted official response: “Just move into a hotel and send the landlord the bill.” She angrily hung up on me.
I knew the textbook answer to her question, but I had completely missed her heart. She wanted someone to understand her fear and desperation. She needed to know she wasn’t alone. In essence, I had left her out in the cold.
Donna and I again watched a taped program of a husband/wife country singer duo, Joey and Rory Feek, she having died a difficult cancerous death, leaving behind a precious baby. Well meaning people trying to console Rory by relating Joey’s happiness in heaven, no more pain, and that they will see each other again, soon. All that is correct but the natural human state longs for her presence here and now.
After Job had lost everything, he had friends with answers but little understanding. Zophar told him all he needed to do was live wholeheartedly for God. Then “life will be brighter than noonday,” (11:17). That counsel wasn’t well received, and Job responded with scathing sarcasm: “Wisdom will die with you!” (12:2). Aware the dissatisfying taste of textbook answers to real-world problems. It’s easy to be critical of Job’s friends for their failure to see the big picture. Oh, but how often are we too quick with answers to questions we don’t truly understand?
Oh yes, people want answers, but they want to know we hear and understand.
Before people want to hear what you say, they want to know that you care.
It is fitting, that the oldest biblical book would deal with the most universally experienced human reality—the presence of suffering in the world.
What Not To Do And What To Do When Someone Is Grieving
What Not To Do And What To Do When Someone Is Grieving